Sunday, July 8, 2012

Forgiving Someone Who Has Hurt Us

I would like to share this thoughts with you guys today. Although it may be boring for some of you to read this as it is so long and 98378972872# of words but trust me , it is worth reading.

 Have you guys ever felt really angry at a person that you felt that they can probably just disappear from this world. Well , I'm sure everyone does.

Think of someone you've harbored anger and resentment toward for a long while,and whom you now want to forgive.If you don't feel ready to forgive yet, don't. Forgiveness comes in its own time and shouldn't be rushed.But when you are ready, one of the best ways to forgive someone is to recognize the causes and conditions leading to the person to act as they did. Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are the product of innumerable interconnected factors, many of which are outside of our control. Understanding interconnectedness can therefore help facilitate the process of forgiveness.

1) When considering the person's harmful actions, see if you can identify any precipitating factors or events.Was the person feeling fear, confusion,lust,anger, or other powerful emotions? was the person having a stressful life experience,like financial insecurity or some other setback? What demos might this person have been dealing with?

2) Now considering why the person didn't stop themselves anyway. Clearly, the factors necessary to enable self-control (emotional maturity,empathy,ability to delay gratification,etc.) weren't present.Why not? Did the person have poor role models growing up, so that he or she never developed these skills?

3) If it comes down to the fact that this person was just plain mean or selfish------think about what could have created this personality type. Insecure attachment, social isolation, life history, genetically inherited traits?

4) Once you have a better understanding of the causes and conditions leading this person to act as he or she did, see if its a bit easier to let go of your anger and resentment. This was a limited, fallible human being, and humans sometimes act in ways they shouldn't. Can you forgive this person?

Doing so doesn't necessarily mean you should interact with this person again. It may not be wise. But by freeing yourself from the corrosive effects of anger and blame, you'll help create more peace and contentment in your own mind.

FYI : I don't think I'm in the position to forgive a person yet , but I trust one day , I'll let go. I'm tired holding on tons of anger in me. Forgiveness will come on its own time.


Friday, June 1, 2012

Is she your true friend or fair weather friend ?

Hey readers , its been awhile since I last wrote here. Please excuse me for having a hectic month.Yeah , its like whenever people start asking me. "Hey why are you busy all the time? "Hmm.. Let me explain why.. As a university student , life is as followed.
Although its holiday now, but there's still something that I'm quite busy at.Currently not gonna announce it yet.Not until when I'm done with it.Full stop this topic.

Now , I'll like to touch a topic on FRIENDS.

 Let me ask you a question.  "Would you like to have numerous friends or just a few true friends ?"

For myself , a few or even one true friend is more than enough for me.What is the point of having many friends when you're affluent or may be beneficial to them, oh yeah..they treat you better than anyone else. but when you're in the time of crisis,they are just fair weather friends. Look , I will not be there to pleased everyone but in the end of the day, I'm not pleasing myself. I'm not the kind of person that can do a word , Hypocrite.Well, its really hard that you can even find a true friend that could "fit in"you.You need to have a few similarities kind of attitude.True friends will laugh over silly things,be honest to each other, able to share secrets together,whenever things turned up , they will be searching for you and share stories,being understanding and most importantly, being there for you through the THICK AND THIN.There's an issue with me.I couldn't mingle with people that will take things up formally or will even put their anger on me when they are in bad mood without any reasons.But,let me make a declaration on it,if it's my true friends and when I understood the reasons beneath of why they are so frustrated,YES,I will tolerate and be understanding.No worries.Because sometimes,human aren't perfect.They have difficulties in controlling their emotions including me.But when it comes to !@#% people that behave all the way like that without letting you know the reason why are they behaving like that most of the days,Oh well they can just fuck off.It's like when you are joking,obviously joking,oh boi..their expression change immediately.Once in awhile, I can understand you.But if its like throughout 365days,360 days you're in a bad mood(without any declaration of reasons) ,5 days you're probably died somewhere else i guess and keeping everything in yourself by being so secretive.HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE IN A FUCKING BAD MOOD?Please, I'm not the one that pissed your day off, so please don't mess up with me.Choose the right one.But somehow,in the end, Its still hmm..acceptable unlike the other type of person that I hate the most in my life. HYPOCRITE type of person.In Chinese saying "2 HEAD SNAKE".. they criticized about that person so often and at the same time,they can be so close to that person.Besides that, they will also try to spoil and destroy the relationships of people that are close to you. This is inextricably unacceptable.   WHY? JEALOUSY.Jealousy is the main thing.If she's your true friend, how can she be harming you because of jealousy?How can she gossips and telling untrue things about you?Real friends will be jealous and in the other hand being happy for you.TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!Somehow,I'm happy having few true friends with me and they're there with me through the thick and thin..sharing joy and sadness together.Bear in mind,people aren't perfect.You must accept every imperfection in them as long as they are not harming you or pissing you off most of the days. =) peace !

FYI :Here, I want to apologize to any of my besties , if I've done anything wrong.I'm truly sorry , because i do have problems in controlling my emotions at time.Deep in my heart, I love you ! I'm glad having you in life and being so understanding! xx

And for some bitches out there : 
Before making any untrue stories and being hypocritical , PLEASE ..
I know i cant stop you , but PLEASE make a reflection.
Are you perfect?
Well , if no.. you probably need to shut up before karma came up.
Because when karma came to you , I'll just grab a coffee and watch.
What goes around comes around, If i dint offense you, don't try to interrupt into my life.
Double think of the consequences.